I was diagnosed as having a very mild cervical spondylosis

I am a doctor working as teacher and consultant in a Physio Therapy college . I would like to share briefly my experience during the retreat at Belgaum under the guidance of Fr. VijayAnand, and the impact it had on my life.

I was diagnosed as having a very mild cervical spondylosis a few months ago when suffered from pain in the neck and shoulders. During the month of April and May I developed spasms of the neck muscles on the left side. These spasms made me very scared. It was triggered off on two separate occasions. The first was when I purchased some mushrooms on the roadside and cooked and ate it along with my family. I suddenly panicked that it might have been poisonous. The second was when I had to take an Inj. TT when I poked myself I panicked whether I had withdrawn the barrel to make sure that it was in the muscle. Which otherwise could enter the blood stream.

Following these two instances the spasms became very frequent and due to fear and stress the neck muscle and shoulders were stiff. And I found it difficult to do my usual daily work. Together with this I became restless, had burning sensations over both the upper and lower limbs and palpitation .I consulted a very good Neurosurgeon. After a thorough examination and tests like MRI, stress test and thyroid functions test. All the reports were normal and he clearly told me that I did not have cervical spondylosis.

It was then that I realized that I had to be relieved of stress, which had mounted up especially in the last few years after my only brother died suddenly and I had to assume the responsibility of my family. Although I did well externally I had not got reconciled to the fact that my brother was no more this was a great suffering. I knew that I would be relieved if I could accept my brother's death together with other fears and worries. I was praying for light when my friend visited me and recommend Fr. Vijayanand. That was how I reached Belgaum.

Since the retreat had already begun and I had just about 17 days, the working out sessions began on the same night. It is a tough process and at times very painful. But the relief is great. As I started working out on all the important experiences like sorrow, fear, guilt and hate.I could see the extent of impact this has had on my

Thanks to Fr. Vijay for his gentleness and firmness, which helped me through, this entire process. To make out one incident - this was connected with my neck pain when I cut a few branches of the coconut tree with a sorrowful thought that my brother was no more to do such jobs for us. I was made to work on it for about 4 hours after which my neck and shoulders were totally relaxed and remain so till now.

It is more than a year after the retreat, I still work out on the negativities as it comes up. Most of the major ones are gone only the minor ones are left. With this I have a much better quality of life. And I have a true insight of what I really am and why I behave in the way I behave.

Many of my other aches and pains have disappeared like the occasional migraine, some throat troubles and colds, dysmenorrhoea, vertigo etc, with the help of Fr. Vijayanand I have been able to cure myself of all these illnesses.